Summer Regrets.

(I began this post weeks ago and like usual, I didn't finish it... But today I will).

I have a couple days of my summer holidays left before returning to university for my final year. A really important year... These past months should’ve been used to prepare for it and instead, I have only gained a list of regrets and a painting I like. Sigh.

My main one is not putting myself out there and interacting with other artists and like-minded people, making contacts and such. I may have exhibited a couple of time at The Freudian Sheep and revisited the place too, but I spoke to no one about art. You would have thought that I would have overcome this, I mean, I have been making art for a few years now and it still scares me.

I definitely don’t know as much as I should about the subject. I am one of those people who likes what they like and knows if they don’t like a piece; whether it is because of a colour, or a shape, or even just the way the paint looks on the surface. I’m not into that arty farty-ness where a splash of colour must represent war and a line clearly signifies peace trying to pull through. Theories and reasons are often tried to be pushed on to our practical work at university, that’s not for me.

Last year I painted elephant skulls simply because I visited a museum and saw one, I found it beautiful and I wanted to recreate the image in paint. There was no hidden meaning behind the elephant skull, or for why I used oil paint. This year, I intend to paint clouds, maybe skies. I visited Scotland a little while back and I found them beautiful, I had never paid much attention to them before, they were just something in the sky that came and went. However, in that setting of amazing landscapes and vast openings of sky, it hit me. I cannot stop looking up. I never thought I would be one of them artists that look to the environment around us.

Anyway, I’m getting side tracked – no surprise there – in all honesty, I don’t want people to realise how stupid I am. There I said it.

Next regret, I should have started reading and making notes, and even started, my damned dissertation ages ago. I keep putting it off… I don’t do well at making myself do things unless there’s someone forcing me to do it. I’m unbelievably so easily distracted. I can write 500 words for this blog post, but for my dissertation? Nope. Monday will be fun. We have a meeting about it and I have nothing.

It confuses me a little as to why we even have to write thousands of words. It still sticks in my mind that because I’m a painter, I should write about painting. I wanted to learn about something new, which would’ve probably made me more interested in it and I would have started it. I really just want to paint. It’s my own fault, I could have finished it over the summer, I would then be able to be in the studios all the time and paint to my heart’s content.

On to the next one, I wish I had volunteered to help at The Freudian Sheep gallery; I love that place, it would have been great to get experience of what goes on. Especially seeing as I hope to one day open up my own space like that. I left it too late and someone else did instead and well, I never offered my help… Big mistake!

I went on holiday to the highlands, as you know, but I wish I had gone on more adventures, with family and friends (not that I have many). Just got in the car and went for a drive without a care in the world and see where we ended up, possibly with a sketchbook in hand. Visited museums full of bones and galleries that go against the white space norm. Drunk tea in cafes and talked about ideas or plans for the future. None of this happened… Maybe another time… As I write that, inside I know it will never happen.

There’s also the ‘I should have made more art work’ regret  and sketchbook work, writing down ideas and sketches. Which I have never been good at whilst at home, I don’t really have the space to do what I want and maybe an easel would help (AND I’m just very lazy).

Plus, I really should have stayed up to date with my blogging. There are about 8 blog posts that I haven’t written of things I made and did… Maybe I’ll get back into it…

Whoa – made it to 800 ish words – congratulations if you managed to read this far! I hope it made sense…

The photo is of fields back home, just look at that sky!

Cardboard Weaving.

I’ve not had a great week in terms of my serious lack of enthusiasm to do anything art related; this is one of the main reasons I miss having a studio space to go to at university, someone suggested I take over some space and that is what I did. I made a plan one day to prime a canvas, do a blog post and try to have a draw in a sketchbook. Guess how badly I failed…

The cat decided she wanted to be involved and took over my space - ended up with fur everywhere! I managed to put calico on a few stretchers and prime them. The internet has been playing up so catching up on my long overdue blog posts has been a tad hit and miss. This one is the first of many I need to do and nothing happened in my sketchbook.

I thought it was about time I shared a small weaving I did while I was still away at university. I got inspiration from the lovely Ruth at ‘Blue Eggs and Tea’ after she tweeted a picture of a weaving, she made it with some cardboard from a shoebox. I am now a big fan of her blog, which you should all definitely check out!

After buying some yarn, I made my own and I was quite surprised at how calming it is. As this was my first one, I wasn’t really sure if I was doing it right, but making it up as you go along is always part of the fun, right? I must admit, it was slightly addictive (although, I haven’t made one since), but thanks to her blog post I have plans to go bigger and possibly make it into my art. I just need my motivation back!

I Can Read.

Hello everyone, once again it has been a while. Since my last post I have moved back to university, survived over a week without internet and worked on my plans a little for what I want to work on this year (which is proving to be more difficult than I thought).

I have realised we rely a lot on the internet, too much in fact, without even realising it. We resorted to visiting the library more or less every other day to keep up with the outside world and get books. I didn't know it at the time, but it was a blessing in disguise. I had managed to start some reading, now the internet has come there has been minimal accomplished.

I suppose taking all these books out in the first place is an achievement in itself, I haven't done any 'arty farty' reading over the summer holidays like I should have (naughty me). Hopefully I'll get back into the swing of it before we start back next week, as well as getting ready for the making of some art. If I'm honest, I'm nervous about starting 2nd year... New people, new work load, new information to take in and I'm too easily distracted. How am I going to survive?!

It's going to take me a while to get through all these...

'Elephant Skull: original etchings' by Henry Moore

'Ways of Seeing' by John Berger

'Art Theory for Beginners' by Richard Osborne

'Practices of Looking: an introduction to visual culture' by Marita Sturken and Lisa Cartwright

'Drawing' by Philip Rawson

'Seeing through Drawing' by Philip Rawson

Exciting Future.

'Excited for the Future.'

To start with, if you could sing the word 'Hallelujah', I would be very grateful. You can guess from this blog post that I have finally managed to finish this drawing that I started over a week ago (about bloomin' time, right?). I feel quite relieved it is over with and I can move onto to another one now. It is also the first thing to be crossed off my long to-do list, which is a good thing. Although, I still have plenty on there to get done.

I should probably talk a little bit about the piece now. I started it the day before my boyfriends birthday and I was looking forward to seeing him for the weekend. This is where the title came from and I was even more excited to be treating him to a meal and the cinema with my hard earned cash I'm now making. I even treated myself to some well needed shoes. It feels unbelievably good to own new things.

Unfortunately though, this image took me a while to complete. A lot longer than it really should have. I just wasn't in the mood for it. Maybe my initial feeling for it wore off. But I was still thinking of ways to further this project and if I am allowed to, then I plan to carry it on into second year of university. I should probably write them down... That would be a good idea. It will be on to the next elephant based sketchbook page soon enough.

Cross Your Fingers.

'Cross your fingers.'

It's finally over, yes! I was very unsure about this one from the very beginning. The outline did not look great at all. Normally, I get a feeling about how it's going to go at this point and I just didn't feel it was working. With this drawing I seem to have lost the way I draw, or maybe I just keep changing it. I don't think I have found my style yet and maybe I never will. At some point my mind decided it was a great idea to go mad with the cross hatching. Some might like it and some, like me, may feel it's too much - let me know what you think.

The title for this was decided at the outline break time point, I always have a little rest here, to get myself together and think what I'm going to do. I also found that because of how I felt about the piece, the t.v. seemed more distracting than normal, however, I still managed to get it done. I definitely needed all the luck I could get and crossed my fingers, with the hope that it would get better. I asked people to cross there fingers too, the more the merrier! So if you were one of them, I thank you for trying. Sorry I didn't succeed as well as I could have. But remember practise, practise, practise. One day it'll happen, I will be content with what I create (fingers crossed haha).

Don't Look.

'Don't look at me!'

Hello good people, it’s been a while once again and I apologise for that. However, I have had a pretty good week so far even though I haven’t been productive in an arty sense and thanks to a good friend, I have finally got the enthusiasm to do a little blogging. This drawing is from the weekend, it was the only thing I did because I wasn’t feeling well, I think I've had a cold… Trust me to get ill in the summer time!

As you can probably tell the illustration is a personal one. It is how I felt at the weekend and if I'm honest, at other times too. I looked a state and glad strangers didn't have to witness my face. Feeling how I did, I didn't want to move much or do anything and yes, if you know me personally, you'd say that was normal for me, but it wasn't good and the heat didn't help. For once I'm glad I'm not at uni, it would be unbelievably hot in the studios and even less than the nothing I have achieved recently would get done haha! I'm sure that you have wanted people not to see you at times and wished you were invisible. I get that too... Sometimes thoughts and feelings help art come about. It's good to get it down, I sometimes feel that my sketchbook is like a visual diary maybe and on occassion I'd rather keep it from the world, but it's good to get it out there.